It’s the home stretch before the Romantic Times convention, and everything’s crazy as usual. Finishing up edits on two books, prepping for con parties, having a book chat, ordering swag and updating my website—I’m really looking forward to May 6 when all I’m going to be doing is writing new books.
In the meantime, Mama’s got shit to promote.
Thursday, April 25, 9:00-10:30PM EST is the Family Man book club chat at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Marie & I will be by starting at 10:00, and anyone and everyone is welcome to attend the chat. Please stop by, talk about the book, meet new people, and say hello!
Tuesday, April 30, 8:30-11:00PM CST is the Cinema Crapastique movie event at Romantic Times book convention in Kansas City, and also over the entirety of Twitter at hashtag #RTmovieslam. Damon Suede roped me into this, and while in New York I got to preview The Covenent (the movie we’ll be watching) with him. It’s going to be something to witness, let me tell you. Not going to RT? As long as you have twitter, you can follow the fun. Read all about this event at the RT site and its own Facebook page.
Wednesday, May 1, 5:00-6:00PM CST in Choutea A at Romantic Times book convention is the Brutes to Suits reader panel. I’ll be on this panel with Damon Suede, Marie Sexton, and ZA Maxfield, and I’m sure it’ll be a riot and then some. Full detials here.
Thursday, May 2, 2:45-3:45PM CST in Gilham B at RT in Kansas City is the Show Your Romance Pride reader event.You can read all about it here, and I hope if you’re going to RT you’ll come to our party. I’ve seen Wendell’s dress, and I know all about Suede’s costume. I have one too, which I hope to hell I can pull off.
Saturday, May 4 from 11:00AM-2:00PM is the RT Book Fair at the Sheraton Crown Center hotel in Kansas City, an event open to the public.I’ll be signing there, so if you’re at RT or even just in the neighborhood that day, please stop by and say hello.
Now I have to get back to packing and prepping and somehow in the middle of all that finish editing Better Than Love so Saritza can read it & sell it and you can get that much closer to reading it too. I hope to see you at RT!
Friday around 10:30PM, I finished a “truck draft” (if I’d been hit by a truck, they still could have published the book, though it’d have been a bit rough) of Better Than Love, and yesterday at around 9:30 I got done with the book placenta, which is all the not very sexy but very important stuff like making sure I polished all the edges, ran a spell check, etc happened, plus another read through to give everything one more look-see, and then after I fought Scrivener and its insistence on fucking over the chapter headings NO MATTER WHAT I FUCKING DO, I sent that bitch out to the betas. Last few books I haven’t done betas, but this one gets a big fat beta round. Before RT I’ll send it to my agent, and then it will be on to Samhain where it will begin its long journey to your hands, should you chose to purchase it.
All I can say is that I feel like I’ve been through a goddamned war. Twice I tried to put this bitch to bed and failed. This round sure started out well, but I kept worrying it would fall apart, and there was white hot terror behind that, because this time it had to happen. There was of course the great overwrite scare where I nearly lost the fucking flogging scene. Sometimes writing this draft I felt like this was the best goddamn thing I’d ever written in my life. When I wrote the end, I bawled my goddamned head off, partly because of something I wrote, partly because I have no shit been riding this horse since 2010, and I am fucking worn out. Now it’s done, which, thank you Jesus.
Of course, now I”m in EON, End Of Novel syndrome, and this one is bad. I had nightmarish, grisly dreams about trying to save my family from zombie-like aliens, which once they found out I was hiding the dead slimy tentacled corpse of their baby, they were really gonna get pissed. I woke feeling like I’d been on a ten-day bender, and I wasn’t even out of bed before the darkness swamped my head and I began to worry, sure the book sucked, sure nothing worked, that it had all turned sour, and the betas wouldn’t tell me because it would be SO HORRIBLY BAD they’d lie because they couldn’t bear to tell me how awful. (I confessed a shorter version of that in text to Dan while he was at work and he, who is already 15% into it said NO NO NO and proceeded to hand me my ass.) In the end I got out of it by letting a potential WIP talk to me and let my brain stew on new story instead of trying to tear down the old one.
Naturally, the sweet, cute romance I had planned informed me one of the heroes is a sex addict. Apparently my muses are sadists, but I’m a masochist, because after I whined this wasn’t what I wanted, they lifted the veil a little higher, and I said, oh…But we’ll see. Nothing is real until I have 30,000 words, and even then things can still go wrong.
The good news is that I only have two days and then I’m going to be in New York until the 10th. I can’t imagine there’s a better way to spend EON than hanging out with Damon Suede plotting our world domination.
I wanted to let you know, though, that the book really happened, and right now I have a sextet of angels reading and telling me what’s good and what’s not, and basically we’re on the road now, bitches, and thank God.
Here’s some show and tell for fun.
This is the collage I worked from. It was on my desktop the whole time and is still there, making me miss them already whenever I look at it.
This is a screenshot of the music I listened to. There was a lot of music, and a fuckload of JLo. Anna never wants to hear the Love? album again, and frequently said, “What is up with all this Spanish music?”
Finally, if you want an excerpt: I posted this on FB awhile back, and maybe I linked to it here, I can’t remember. But here’s that.
And now I’m going to go watch Doctor Who, fold laundry, pack a suitcase, and in general not write this book anymore. As a parting gift I leave you with a song never referenced in the book, but one that has been in the soundtrack since the very beginning and one which, were this ever a movie, I’d ask them to strongly consider working into a montage sequence somehow. Thanks for riding along with me, for being patient, and for being excited about this story even when sometimes it got the better of me and I wasn’t anymore. Because your letters, support, and love kept me together too.
If you go to Amazon, B&N, and the usuals right now and try to buy Special Delivery, you’ll only have the option of picking up a handful of paperbacks, and before long those will be gone too. The book is, as of today, out of print.
PLEASE REMAIN CALM.
Special Delivery and Double Blind are on the move–today the contracts are in the works between my agent and Samhain, and that’s where the series is going. This includes, as some of you have been hoping, book three, Better Than Love. There might yet be more, but for right now, let’s take it one book at a time.
To be clear, though, there WILL be a third book, and it is for real coming, and its production is 100% my top priority right now. I’ll be delivering it to my editor by June, straight-up.
Let me anticipate some of your questions.
When will the books be re-released at Samhain?
I forget which months exactly, but basically this time next year. As I understand it, the releases will be 1-2-3 in a row, one month apart for each.
Why is it going to take so long?
Because I really, really care about these books, and I want to do it right. This production schedule will help Samhain give the books wider exposure, do solid, solid editing, get new covers, the whole works. Also, to clear three months of release, we had to look a bit ahead.
OMG DOES THIS MEAN YOU’RE CHANGING MY FAVORITE BOOK EVER???!!!!!
NO. Absolutely NO. The edits, I swear on Sam Keller’s cute peach-shaped butt, will not eat your favorite scenes or even one-liners. I’ve already cleaned up a lot of “and thens” and some stupid spacings and other things that always get left over. Sasha will push me to clean up any other bits and pieces, and we’ll clean up things that you’ll never realize were change and yet will make the whole thing smoother and sharper. If you notice what we did, we didn’t do our jobs. I promise, we will be good at our jobs. This goes for Double Blind too.
What about the audio book? Is it going to go?
Yeah, sorry. My agent is looking into that, but for now, yes, it’s not hanging around.
Why are you moving your books?
That was probably your first question, but it has the longest answer, so I put it later in the queue.
The why is very complicated, but the short answer is because it’s the right thing to do. There is no dramatic behind-the-scenes story here–moving the series is what was best for it, and this was a decision reached after discussing things with my agent, Dreamspinner, and Samhain.
Editors, publishing houses, agents–these are all relationships, and as in all relationships, it’s important that everyone is happy and feels good. Everyone needs to want the same thing and share the same vision. It’s not okay for one party to need something different and have to not get it because another party can’t give it, and when that happens, it’s time to go. It says nothing about any of the individual parties’ worth, and polite, professional partings are a sign of strong individuals who are good at their jobs. Consider this one of those moments.
So you really are going to write Better Than Love now? You’ve been saying that for three years, you know.
Yeah, I know. Thankfully, George R. R. Martin has set the bar really high for how long you can let a series go. Though while we’re on the subject of long breaks…
One of the biggest reasons there hasn’t been a book–in addition to needing to be at the right place–is that I have had a bit of a hellish three years. Health, professional stuff, personal stuff–it’s been a ride. I have, actually, worked on this story the whole time, sometimes actively, sometimes just in the back of my head. Being in the right place, having a solid plan, and having cleared my desk for the project is going to help a lot.
The thing to remember is that Special Delivery, Double Blind, and Better Than Love are what I call “big books.” Big in that they’re not just lengthy but full of meat. I do, truly, work like the devil to make them sing, and I am, frankly, relentless in my standards for them. Special Delivery took over two years to write, and I have probably about 200k (not exaggerating) of dead manuscript beneath what you currently read. Double Blind is a bit of a fluke–It took 25 days to write and has the least editing ever in any book I’ve ever done, but I wrote it under extraordinary circumstances and spent three months prepping the research. I also wrote it in the dark. When that book got birthed, none of you knew who I was. That you do now? That you’re watching? Yes, it changes everything, and it makes it very hard at times. It makes it slower, because I have to keep shutting off my head.
The current reality of publishing, especially in indie, is that we must produce with incredible speed, speeds that ten years ago would be considered inhuman. In 2004 I went to a national writing conference where authors (NYT bestsellers) were angry that their publishers were beginning to require a book a year from them. Please enjoy that fact a moment when you consider how many books in m/m most authors crank out right now. I produce on average three a year, and I’m one of the slower producers. I’m not when you consider that a “short” book for me is usually 60k. Not only is a 100k book (my preferred length) longer, it’s more difficult. It’s not simply more words. It’s more complex plot, more to hold in one’s head, more pacing to make sure doesn’t flag. I do not make more money for that length, either. In fact, were I to crank out 20-40k on a regular basis, I’d make a lot more money.
At moments this reality–too fast a production, too unstable a landscape–has been very hard for me to come to terms with. I suffer too from too many ideas and too many fingers in too many sub-genres, and while I’ve corrected that a bit, it came at a financial and branding cost. When you add how visible and connected authors have to be to fans to stay relevant–social media, conferences, etc–I sometimes wonder how I have managed to do this at all. I think, weirdly enough, my unstable health has helped, because it becomes a sort of laser focus, making me constantly assess.
But yes, there will be Better Than Love by spring next year. It will be as big, if not bigger, than SD & DB. It will be worthy of your fandom and pleasure. It will be worth the money you’ll pay for it and the reviews you’ll leave on social media sites. I will give it, and you, the gift of my full authorial attention.
This is how, honestly, I’d prefer to proceed from here on out. I’m open to some fun small projects, but my meat, my core, is this sort of thing. I honestly enjoy taking a big, crazy idea and taming it. I love taking subjects we shouldn’t write about (trucker fantasies, casino heists) and making them beautiful. I love inserting painstakingly detailed research and real things into works so that they feel so real they take your breath away. I love hiding little plot devices and structure you won’t notice, ever, but will make works stronger and smarter and better. I love crafting art out of same-sex romance, better yet when I can put a bit of dirty sex in it to boot. I love taking what is a rather extensive and expensive education on writing and story and how to do this job and writing not a staid piece of LITERATURE but a raunchy, riotous ride.
That, however, takes time. And energy, and focus. It’s why I moved the books, so I have the best opportunity to reach for those things. It’s why I have an agent to sell my books and advise me where to go. It’s why I have started saying a lot more NO to everything that is not writing and supporting the writing. Because the writing is what I want to do, always, forever. Without it, the rest of life is so tasteless I cannot bear it.
So this is the big Thursday news. Books are moving, new book is coming. Heidi is getting her game on, and we’re ready to go.
There actually is other news, which sort of steps on what was a nice closer there, but whatever.
Let It Snow, the first book in what will be the Minnesota Snow (I think that’s what I called it) Christmas series, will be available this year in November from Samhain. I think the 26th. My plan is one of those every year.
Hero is also out of print. I’m looking at probably self-pubbing it this summer just so it’s available, but more on that later.
Love Lessons, a new adult, almost-sweet romance is in the hands of my agent. She has Plans. I will let you know about them when they are firm.
Tucker Springs is on my radar, but right now I so very have to finish BTL and it’s the only thing I’m allowing myself to process. Though I’ll confess, I have a few characters talking to me from that town.
Damon Suede and I have many crazy cowriting schemes together, but first he has to finish his book, and I have to get ankle-deep in BTL before any of that gets serious.
I think that’s about all I have for news. So there you go. Ask whatever other questions you have, and I’ll do my best to answer them. Just don’t expect much detail on BTL yet, because the story is hot and doesn’t want attention. I can’t even tell Damon or Saritza about it right now, it’s in that kind of state. I’ll just say there are some high awesomes, and I’m excited. As for a Randy POV? Maybe. Only if it works and adds to the story, but so far, he seems to be determined to make himself essential.
Yesterday I had the incredible joy of sending my agent a new manuscript to sell, this one a Christmas contemporary which, if I have my way, will be the first in a multi-year series. I had a lot of fun writing it, not the least of which because for once it happened fairly quickly. Dan started reading it in bed and seemed to be having a good time, so things are looking good so far. Something to look forward to, I guess. More on that one as it gets sold, etc.
In the meantime, Dirty Laundry releases in less than a week. Some of you have been waiting for this moment for a year, because it was about this time last year the free short showed up on Coffee and Porn in the Morning. Speaking of that, you’ll want to stop by there on Thursday around 10AM CST for a special surprise. There’s a book tour you can follow during release week (see info below). You can also try your hand at the Goodreads paperback giveaway. Unless you wait too long.
Now I get about ten minutes to sit on my laurels, and then it’s back to work on the book that’s overdue and 3/4 done. Because I have to start on yet another something in the middle of February, and when you hear what that is, you’ll be very happy. But no more on that until Valentine’s Day.
Here’s the usual blather for DL: link, tour, blurb, excerpt, and buy link to Riptide. It’ll be on third party sites (Amazon et al) shortly after release day. I tend to post those my my FB fan page and twitter, so you can watch there or keep hitting refresh or whatever pleases you.
The course of true love doesn’t always run clean. But sometimes getting dirty is half the fun.
Entomology grad student Adam Ellery meets Denver Rogers, a muscle-bound hunk of sexy, when Denver effortlessly dispatches the drunken frat boys harassing Adam at the Tucker Springs laundromat. Thanking him turns into flirting, and then, much to Adam’s delight, hot sex over the laundry table.
Though Denver’s job as a bouncer at a gay bar means he gets his pick of geek-sexy college twinks, he can’t get Adam out of his head. Adam seems to need the same rough play Denver does, and it’s damn hard to say no to such a perfect fit.
Trouble is, Adam isn’t just shy: he has obsessive compulsive disorder and clinical anxiety, conditions which have ruined past relationships. And while Denver might be able to bench-press a pile of grad students, he comes from a history of abuse and is terrified of getting his GED. Neither Denver nor Adam want to face their dirty laundry, but to stay together, they’re going to have to come clean.
I’m making one NYE resolution early: next year I’m going to juggle my schedule so that I have no writing after Thanksgiving and that I’m all done with everything publishing from the 15th of December to the 2nd of January. After several sideways panics, my agent all but decreed this, and as in all things she’s right, this is a wise stance. My family is too big and widespread to allow work and play on the kind of level I tried this year.
Hopefully you’re all happily settled into your deepest holiday traditions at this point. We’ve had two of our Christmases so far, two to go, and two which I think will happen in January because I’m crying uncle. Tonight we plan to watch Smoky Mountain Christmas and maybe Avengers and then try to get the child unconscious so Santa can happen. Tomorrow is Dan’s family. Today I have to get my act together and get just a few more things and wrap one more present.
In the meantime, there are two Goodreads giveaways of my books you can enter: paperbacks for A Private Gentleman and Dirty Laundry. When I signed up I selected every country available, so it’s as world-wide as GR goes. And if you’re looking for a holiday read, a few years ago I wrote The Twelve Days of Randy, which you can enjoy as well.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and I’ll see you in the New Year!
Last year around this time Marie realized Coffee & Porn in the Morning was about to be one year old, and she wanted to have a party. She roped a whole bunch of people into writing free stories, and of course as one of the COP owners, I had to write one too. I didn’t know what to write, and the day was getting closer that I had to buckle down and do something, anything. Then I broke our washer and we had to go to the laundromat while we waited for a part. Naturally I saw the washing machines and long flat tables and thought of smutty things. I wrote a short story called “Dirty Laundry” and gave it to Marie for her party.
Well, holy shit. Everybody and their pet rock loved it, and it’s still one of my more popular books on Goodreads. Dan, always looking for me to out-earn him, said, “You should have sold that one.”
“It’s a short,” I told him. “Shorts should be free.”
“Then you should write a longer version,” he replied.
I kicked the idea around a little, but I never went anywhere with the idea not until Marie and Lori asked me to do Tucker Springs with them. I wasn’t sure I’d do it (I believe I said no, in fact) but they put a guy a lot like Denver into their stories “just in case.” Then I ended up writing Second Hand with Marie, and Denver became a fixture. So I shifted the story to Colorado, altered the ending of the story to make it a first chapter, and off we went.
Now Dirty Laundry is a novel, and you can preorder it if you want. It’s not out until January 28, but Riptide has this cool gig where if you preorder, you get it early by a few days. Otherwise if you’re like me and are a total kindle whore, you can wait for third party and it will be up just a scant bit after the official release. (Amazon doesn’t let small pubs post preorders. Go on, yell at them if you like.) I will of course announce it as usual, and you can sign up for my newsletter if you’d like a direct HEY BOOK’S OUT notice.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Riptide generously rushed production on cover art not just for this preorder but so if you’re going to be at GRL 2012 in Albuquerque next week you could get a cover flat and swag if you’ve been pining for Denver and Adam for a year and can’t wait to have something for your hot little hand. I’ll have the flats in the swag room and the other stuff as prizes at the COP bingo event.
In any event, here’s the blurb, the cover, and the preorder link again, because it’s always about the money, honey.
The course of true love doesn’t always run clean. But sometimes getting dirty is half the fun.
Entomology grad student Adam Ellery meets Denver Rogers, a muscle-bound hunk of sexy, when Denver effortlessly dispatches the drunken frat boys harassing Adam at the Tucker Springs laundromat. Thanking him turns into flirting, and then, much to Adam’s delight, hot sex over the laundry table.
Though Denver’s job as a bouncer at a gay bar means he gets his pick of geek-sexy college twinks, he can’t get Adam out of his head. Adam seems to need the same rough play Denver does, and it’s damn hard to say no to such a perfect fit.
Trouble is, Adam isn’t just shy: he has obsessive compulsive disorder and clinical anxiety, conditions which have ruined past relationships. And while Denver might be able to bench-press a pile of grad students, he comes from a history of abuse and is terrified of getting his GED. Neither Denver nor Adam want to face their dirty laundry, but to stay together, they’re going to have to come clean.
How does a man get to be forty without knowing whether he’s gay? That’s a question Vince Fierro is almost afraid to answer. If he is gay, it’ll be a problem for his big, fat Italian family. Still, after three failed marriages, he can’t help but wonder if he’s been playing for the wrong team.
There’s only one way to settle it, once and for all—head for Chicago’s Boystown bars, far from anyone who knows him. Naturally, he runs smack into someone from the neighborhood.
Between working two jobs, going to school, taking care of his grandmother, and dealing with his mother’s ongoing substance abuse, Trey Giles has little time for fun, let alone dating someone who swears he’s straight. Yet after one night of dancing cheek-to-cheek to the sultry strains of Coltrane, Trey finds himself wanting to help Vinnie figure things out—no promises, and no sex.
It seems like a simple plan, until their “no-sex” night turns into the best date of their lives and forges a connection that complicates everything.
Warning: This book deals with alcoholism, broken promises, and overbearing little sisters.
Note: You may have noticed the header and theme of this blog is different. I’m playing with a new logo. This is the prooving ground. Let me know what you think.
****
Since last we spoke, I’ve worked on Better Than Love for one whole day. I tried for a second, then a third, and on the fourth day my muses stood up as angry mountains of angry and said WE ARE NOT DOING THIS.
I didn’t blog it for a lot of reasons, the chief being that was an awfully personal moment and very frustrating. It’s been a hard year for projects (for everyone I know) to start with, but then there was the whole gamble of blogging progress, plus the fact that I’ve been trying to write this sucker since 2010. I’ve done the walk away before, so I wasn’t buying the whole “oh, maybe not right now” thing. I sat long and hard, then said, well, if it doesn’t start working in a few more days, I’ll shelve it indefinitely, maybe permanently.
The muses stood up in their mountain-ness and said, “You’ll do that right fucking now.”
So I did. It made me sad, because I love Chenco, but the truth is, sometimes there are the stories we only tell ourselves. Sometimes the time is never right or the window is small and you’re busy brushing your teeth or something when it happens. All I knew is that every time I tried to work on BTL my brain dredged up A Model Man which has been stuck on Stuckety Fucking Stuck since April or worse, and that in fact is what I’ve been working on lately. So far so good, but I’m still fussing in the pre-stuck part, so we’ll see. That sucker feels like Special Delivery and the way it fucked me around for two years.
I’ve also been doing Other Things. I’ve had many many days that are just emails and promo posts and shuttling things for RRW and other biz stuffs, travel for something I’m not sure I’m supposed to announce yet, but I will when I get full permission. I’ve also been walking a friend through the valley of hell of a book, something I know well and hate, and it feels good to help. It’s also still early in the school year for Anna, plus I’m never out of things to learn about Heidi’s New Cooking Adventures. I even had a birthday party for myself, which was fun and rather me, even if they did keep dragging me out of the kitchen to be social. I think people thought it was odd that on my birthday I wanted to spend three days cooking tamales for my close friends and family. I did, though. That’s kind of how I roll.
Anyway, all this happened, and the whole time BTL sat shelved. As in, I had no intention of picking it up, possibly ever. I was ready to apologize to fans, to encourage them to go write fan fiction or use the Sam/Mitch/Randy/Ethan die-casts to write their own stories, even just in their own heads. It was all set that the SD series would simply be finished.
I forgot about Chenco, though, and how badly he wanted to be story.
In the end I think it was a good technique, because instead of me killing myself trying to make the muses function, Chenco is doing the heavy lifting, sorting out the things that keep snarling (“Hey, maybe I’m not Mitch’s brother, just some guy he adopts like a brother!”), keeping things interesting and tantalizing. The muses are not buying it, but they’re watching out of the corner of their eyes. I think if I keep saying, “We’re not doing this” and let Chenco dance, it might all work out.
I’m aware that I get a lot of readers, both of my books and my blog, who write, and what I’m saying next is to you. Sometimes you have to walk away. Sometimes the characters don’t stand back up and dance for your muses. Sometimes you work a long time on story and it’s nothing more than a hard, frustrating lesson. Sometimes you write story and it never sees the light of day, by your hand or by the publishing gods. I’m here to tell you, that’s a good thing, and you should never feel ashamed for putting something down. Oh, fans, yes, they’ll be disappointed. But you know what would disappoint them more? You never writing again, or writing but being always bitter and angry and frustrated and letting it show.
There’s no way to measure how many authors I’ve talked out of trees this year. I think all the transits of the stars and what not have made things hard, and the social pulse on the ground isn’t helping either. The zeitgeist isn’t friendly just now, nor is it accessible, not like it used to be. It’s been a hard year to make up story for a living for whatever reason, at least for a lot of people I know, and I’m one of them. This happens. This happens a lot. Sometimes it’s the way the wind blows, sometimes it’s personal, sometimes it’s inexplicable, but it happens.
I could slam through BTL and pump out something. I could override my muses and make the story work whether it or I want to work or not. It would suck, by the way, and at best it would be like a bad date, something that was maybe fun if you didn’t think too hard but mostly left you back home on your doorstep feeling empty and confused. And upset, because I’d have taken your money for that date, and you’d remember that. Story isn’t something you push, not when it’s saying slow down. If you’re a slow writer? Then you’re a slow writer. If your muses like to meander? Then that’s what they’re going to do, and yelling at them, I promise you, won’t help. Neither will making them go when they don’t want to.
Creating story is such a fragile, miraculous effort, and we need to acknowledge that. We spin whole worlds out of gossamer threads, worlds great and strong enough for millions to walk through and feel they are at home. Unlike the movies and TV, we do this all by ourselves–polish and such comes from editing, yes, but the bricklaying, or rather that thread-spinning that becomes bricks and trees and earth and city sidewalks and shopping malls and everywhere our characters go–that’s all us. We’re the directors and actors and writers and by and large the producers too. We do most of the editing. We add special effects. We create the worlds as lonely gods, and yeah. It’s hard.
So I’m not writing BTL right now, but I’m no longer saying absolutely I’m never picking it up. I’m back to, when people ask when SD3 will be out, saying, “Not sure, still working.” I’m back to knowing fans are disappointed, wanting their next foray into a friendly world. But I”m making other worlds, ones my muses are ready to do, and I’m sticking to the truths I know, that if I write a book when it’s not ready, it’s going to be bad. Yes, other people can write sequels faster. Yes, other people don’t have as hard a time. That’s okay. Other people aren’t me, and I’m not them, and allergies and extra pounds and all, I like–no, love–who I am.
As for Better Than Love? Randy is a betting man, and he hasn’t laid anything down yet, but he’s got his eye on Chenco, and he keeps smiling and touching his lip thoughtfully. I have a feeling before long he’ll be in there helping Chenco woo the muses. So no promises, but–well, you know how Randy gets. I doubt you’ll wait forever.
There’ve been no Better Than Love diaries because there has been a lot of Heidi in airports and hotels and other such things. I’m back now, but today was the day I had to sort out all the mail that happened while I wasn’t paying attention, and by having a brilliant idea to set up rules and mailboxes to sort it more efficiently, I managed to lose a lot of it or funnel it to the wrong place. Then I had to do other things, and then there was a big kiki, and then…well, I wrote seven hundred words.
It’s still going, though, and I’m happy. I feel like I’m getting the soul of the thing, and I can see the shape, etc. It’d be nice to be out of the damn first sequence, but whatever.
The best part so far has been the silliest: because Chenco has a drag queen personality and so sometimes thinks of himself as Candy, a female, I can, for the first time in forever, have a sex scene where I get to–WAIT FOR IT–alternate pronouns because they’re not the same. Holy cow, that’s so great I can’t even tell you.
Though you know what rocks hardest? The best fucking phrase ever to write? Her cock. That’s pretty fucking fun.
Robyn continues to be a big theme source, and I’m flirting with P!nk but I’m not sure about that yet. We’ll see. Though I’m also loving, loving “Titanium” by David Guetta and Sia. (I keep calling her Skia, and I have no idea why.) That one is a double bonus, that song, because it spurs something else. But mostly it’s a great song.
This morning my baby sister texted me from her computer, courtesy of her recent upgrade to Mountain Lion on her Mac. I mentioned it was cool, and liked the idea, and the next thing I know, I had a gift certificate in my email saying, “Now you can go get it too!”
I’ve updated a lot of OS in my day, and every. single. time they are a huge pain in my ass and end up with me in the Apple Store. But nobody’d ever bought me an OS before, and it was awfully cool, and so I did it.
It IS cool, and Hillari is awesome for setting me up, and once I get all the bugs out, I’ll be fine. But let me just say, upgrading the day before I have to spend the day shuttling Anna to my mother’s and get ready to get on a plane Friday? DUMB, Heidi. DUMB.
Not much writing today because of this, both the upgrade and trying to get ready to go to Hotlanta. Made Dan a huge kale salad and things he could heat up while I was gone. Rode bikes with Anna, watched TV with the family. Spent several hours with Apple Care arguing with them that it wasn’t my phone, it was my operating system and getting hung up on every other second. But I did write a little bit.
I figured out the first sequence, and once again, it’s a Heidi book because they have sex within the first sequence. Apparently that is the only way I roll unless I’m writing with Marie. I”m still in the Chenco section, but I’m almost through, and then I get to introduce the rest of the boys, which is of course a re-introduction, and, yay.
And that was when it occurred to me that I have to start this fucking story THREE TIMES.
I don’t know why I forgot this, because I had to do it in the other versions too, but it still shocked and depressed me when I realized it. What I mean by that, in case you’re frowning at the screen, is because I have three distinct arcs and three distinct POVs, I have to start the story three times. Each time I introduce a new character/arc, it’s like I have a blank document all over again, except for this little thread that leads to the other POVs–and those threads aren’t connected, that’s where I have to go. The first opening is easiest, because it’s what everything attaches to. The next two will be harder because they must link up to Chenco’s plot.
I’ve made it extra fun for myself because Chenco is in McAllen, Sam and Mitch are in Iowa, and Randy and Ethan are in Vegas. Nobody’s stories are linked yet, except we assume Iowa and Vegas occasionally get together for a hot orgy weekend and maybe a tamale festival. Neither Vegas nor Iowa even knows McAllen has a plot point. In other words, this is work. It’s like, really really work.
But I’m already loving it. I love Chenco. I had him pegged a little wrong, because I was thinking he was ghetto fabulous, but he’s not. He’s been talking, and he’s…I don’t know what he is, but he’s not ghetto. Fabulous, though, absolutely. I can’t wait to get the boys all together. I’m hoping I can make some headway on that tomorrow.
In the meantime, one song from the soundtrack is constantly stuck in my head, probably because it’s so Chenco it hurts. Enjoy.
