There is no real update. But there is stuff.

Apologies that blogging lately is just twitter summaries, and that even those are sparse and not at all telling. I can’t update, though, because it’s complicated. On the surface, it goes something like I’m doing therapy and I have a pretty good idea of how I got to this point and how to get out, that it’s going to be long but doable, that it’s really not a big deal, just annoying and long and irritating, but blissfully free so hey, how about it. Deeper down, I have very, very powerful emotions that I cannot talk about. Very well, I can, but I don’t wish to. That alone ought to sober you, since I am clearly willing to talk publicly about pretty much anything. The facts are that I’m weak in my core muscles (abdomen, lower back, hips, thighs), very, very weak, and mild exercise and even daily routine and a bad desk setup damaged me a lot, and now I have a team of therapists paid entirely in full by Dan’s insurance benefits for as long as the therapists deem necessary. The rest I’m keeping with me.

Other things are that I just redrafted "One Night" and sent it to God to be further eviscerated or deemed fairly good, and by Friday I will be sending what I hope is the final or near final version of it to Brad the editor man, and I’m about to sign a contract and then there will be a magazine of it with photos of men whom I am told are hot acting it out. So when I have proof that this is not a delusion I have been tricked into believing, I will provide links. This redraft is part of why I have not been on the net. I needed to do it all weekend, and life kept me from it, so I didn’t let myself on the net until I got a good start on the work, which meant I didn’t know there was a two hour delay and took Anna to school two hours early yesterday. She was a good sport about it, though.

Dan is putting a desk together for me tonight, which is really, really good, but first he is getting a haircut.

I think that’s about it. Well, there’s more, but I’m not sure what else is truly interesting. Oh, okay, I’ll tell that I’m working on STB again, that I wrote a sort of . . . prologue? that I really like and that was born out of a strange burble of sorrow and rage I experienced while trying to exercise this morning, which will upset some of you, but let it go because the stuff I got out of it rocks the planet. I will actually gladly take pain in trade for getting that, so right now the universe and I are pretty square. I have hopes of writing scene two, but computer work is starting to hurt, and the PT guy has me scared to use my standing desk, so this is going to end soon.

I have full intent to tackle the submission package of TWA, something I never dreamed to let go of this long, and I swear to God it’s going out to an agent by mid-month. Swear. End for sure, because I promised Gin. Well, and myself. But I want to keep working on STB, too, because it’s starting to feel like a connection to the healing, and I’m very sorry in advance, but I am talking about it to absolutely no one, with sometimes maybe one exception, but sometimes not even that. Why my physical pain and rage and fury is translating into that sucker I do not know, because honest to God, all I did was have a weak core, but it works and it’s really fucking good writing, so I"m going with it.

In the meantime, however, here are links of things which amused, delighted, or excited me today.

Thor Scares Off Burglar on boing boing.

There is a new Fables graphic novel, and I still have stuff left after Sandman on a Borders gift card, PLUS I have a $5 reward certificate PLUS I have a 40% off one item coupon.

There is also a book by Paul Auster they might have, and the summary I read on The Reverse Cowgirl makes me want it, and I think maybe Dan would like it, too, but I have to peek at it first.

Finally, two videos.

Al Franken vs. Ann Coulter

Vader joins the Lutheran Church processional

And that, today, is all.

2 Comments on “There is no real update. But there is stuff.

  1. Well, that sounds all sorts of scary and emotional and good for you in the long-run. And yes, you’ve said you don’t want to talk about it, but if you change your mind, and you need a ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, or arms to hug you – I’m here. Love to you.

  2. It’s amazing the things we store in our body, not always in the broken places, but just in spaces we forgot we had until we can’t forget anymore. Hugs and healing white light to you sweetie. Our journeys are different but we definitely share echoes along this passage – I don’t know what you’re going through because I don’t, but I do, if that makes any sense. And WCS.

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