A Health and Wellness Update
I’m not sure what precisely what triggered it–new vitamins, herbal supplements, a fantastically huge energy release, some good mediations, the culmination of weeks of hard work, Mercury leaving retrograde, or a cocktail of several or all of these things–but whatever made the switch, I’m very glad, because I am starting to feel pretty good, more good than bad, and the past four days in particular have been very, very good. And today when I went to the weight room, I had to up all my weights, some significantly, because they weren’t any work anymore, and I was able to add several I’d been told to wait on until I was stronger. Then I worked on "real" fitness equipment instead of the grandma and grandpa machine, I worked very hard, and I have yet to crash after.
Basically I am back on all the vitamins I was on two years ago, minus the weird adrenal special-order ones that cost $60 a bottle and the chromium, plus some ginko biloba and ginseng. Having the B-vitamins back helps, but I am of the opinon that the ginko is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. My head is a lot clearer–well, except for the lingering sinus pressure from a cold I cannot shake, but beyond that, I’m very good. My arms still hurt a lot, but it’s less every day, except when I’m cycling through to a new level of muscular health, and then I really, really hurt, but now I’m starting to trust that it will go away, especially if I keep working. My hips hurt only occasionally, and a little anti-inflammatory med takes care of it spit spot. I am loving my weight training right now. Sometimes it’s really hard, and today when I added the new hip work, it was so tough I had to shut my eyes and breathe through it, but it feels so good when it starts to work.
I had a long, long conversation with my favorite doctor on the planet, and I have an appointment with her March 13 to have a physical and do this thing up proper, but she asked me several questions, heard the story of what I’ve been doing, and said that she didn’t want to upset me, but she suspected that I probably did have fibromyalgia after all. BUT, unlike the asshole doctor, she explained to me what living with that meant, and why what I was experiencing made her think that, and how important it was for me to keep moving, especially when I hurt. The more I hurt, she said, the more I should move. Yesterday I put that to the test, doing a lot of (careful) arm work after dealing with a lot of pain all day, and after I did the exercises, I did feel much better until the evening. She talked me through when to take muscle relaxants and when not to, and she debunked a lot of the whacked out granola stuff I’d gotten from another source last week. But she also agreed that, yes, given my family history and my situation in general, the more vegetables and more healthy in general I can eat, the better I will feel, and the more sugar I can avoid, the better, but more because there’s a strong track record of people who just don’t process sugar well than anything else.
Essentially today I am feeling very informed and empowered, and educated, and the fact that I have now been working out (to a degree) daily and regularly for over a month makes me feel good, especially as now I am seeing a marked jump in my performance. I also notice that, despite the arm pain, I can do things like haul my purse and a heavy bag across the car to the passenger seat without hurting. I didn’t realize that it hurt until today, when, for the first time, it did not.
I have one more PT appointment this Friday, which I’m going to use to grill them extensively about what I should and shouldn’t do in exercise, what I should be looking for, and what I should aim for. I’m going to spend the rest of February working hard to keep upping my routine, slowly and carefully, going a minimum of twice a week, aiming for three or four times, and working out in at least a minimal way every day. My goal is to get back with a trainer in March, and by the time the roads are clear enough and the weather is warm enough for bike riding*, I want to be biking Anna to school from then until the end of the year, taking extra time for an extended ride several days a week once I drop her off.
I have no weight goals, though I’d love to be writing that I weigh 200 pounds or less by this time next year. Once I hit that, I really don’t give a damn what I weigh; 180 is the average for my height. Mostly I want to feel good. I don’t want to hurt. I want to feel strong and fit physically, and I want maintaining that to feel like a comforting routine, one I embrace and not in any way resent.
For the first time, ever, I feel like I’m off to a good start.