More poetry

Honestly, this is more poetry than I’ve ever written in my life. But this one started in my head as I came back from "This I Believe Class" at the Fellowship, and so I’m putting it here, because I can.

Bury Her, Unbury Her


Bury her; unbury her.

Lay her in the shallow grave

Fill her mouth and eyes with sand.

Heave the weight upon her chest

Close her tight

Close her tight.

Unbury her when her life grows faint

Learn to wait until it is almost gone

Wait, wait

Not the first cry, not the second

Not the plea for mercy

Not the call for comfort

No

Wait

Wait until you feel her despair in the back of your teeth

Then pull her up, and up, out of the dark, out of the close

Wipe away the sand

Breathe life into her lungs again

Wait

a moment.

Then bury her again.


Wind her

Wind her tight, too tight

Like a clock

Wind her until she weeps, cries, screams

Wind her until her eyeballs bulge

Wind her until her toes curl up

Wind her until her breath is short and her heart is banging

Bong bong bong bong

The drum of life

Wind her until the drum beats so hard it nearly breaks.

Wind her past what she says she can bear

Wind her past her endurance

Push

Push

Push

Until you feel the break upon her

Until you can feel the crack begin

Then let her go

Send her into ease

Perhaps

Add hope

Light

Whisper of accomplishment and change

Encourage if she makes meaning of her trial

Note it

And wait

Then wind her again, until that meaning cracks.


Tease her

Take away that what she loves

Listen carefully to what she says

thinks

believes

she cannot do without

Hear what she is afraid to do

Observe what she does not want

Take it

Do it

Push it

Leave her aching and desolate

Despondent

Terrified

Take more, do more, push more

More and more and more

Gauge carefully her screams and sobs, listening

Carefully

So, so carefully

Until her mind is nearly snapped

Until she loves nothing

Trusts nothing

Wants nothing

Believes nothing

Then give to her

Ease her

Restore her.

Wash her in indulgence and security

Until she is once again trusting and safe

Then take it away again.


Tell her of God.

Tell her of God and angels

Tell her of heaven and hell

Teach her to believe

Teach her that she must believe

Structure her world so that God is her center and her core

Until she can feel the surety of the rock beneath her feet with every step

Make it so solid she is a priestess

A saint

Give her God until He is so close he is grafted to her soul.

Then take Him away.

Show her

Irrefutably

He cannot exist.

Take Him

Take it all

Leave her with nothing

Not even herself

Take all of it, until she is so unstable she is less than air.

Then give Him back again.


Pinch her

Push her

Twist her insides until they bleed

Give her cancer

Give her disease

Give her nightmares

Kill her loved ones

Lead her to betrayal

Better still, teach her to betray

Wrench and bend her to the breaking point

Over and over again

In as many ways as you can

Always bringing her back once you have found how far that she can go.

Do this always

Do this forever

Do this endlessly

Do this with mercy

Do this with love

Always, forever, endlessly, do this with love.


Do all these things and more to her

Do it until the day you go too far

Do it until she takes the stake, shovel, blindfold, or knife from your hand

Do it until her life ends and she stand before you

More now than she ever was

Stronger

Stranger

Darker

Lighter

Altered so starkly from what she was when you both began.


When you reach the end

When she stands before you thus

Then

And not before

Only then may you ask her

Why

You must, always

Bury her; unbury her.

One Comment on “More poetry

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