O Hai, Old Self! Good advice, thx, bye.
Somebody on a list pointed out that everything you say and do is all over the net in a google search now, and while I’m not trying to seek publishers or agents right now on an active basis, I thought it might not be a bad idea to see what "heidi cullinan" brought up. It turns out it is a major hodgepodge of shit, so far benign, except for this. You have to scroll down to page seven, but there I am, looking freakishly like I’m looking right now. Except smarter, apparently. Or less beaten down. This was back when I used to be the editor for a local RWA chapter’s newsletter, and when the edition was short, I’d often write an article to fill it, then post it on the list-serve of newsletter editors for others to use. This is a chapter which did.
So there’s me, telling everyone how to write through being stuck. It was rather odd to read that. And depressing, because I swear I was more coherent then than now. At least that me has no idea what the fuck is coming. I think if you’d have told me then, "You’ll do this again, but worse, and longer, and more permanent, and it will hurt more, and by the way you’ll be more fucked in the head about publishing then than now." Yes. There’s a reason we aren’t allowed to look forward to the future, not very far, and not very well. And sometimes there’s a reason we forget the past.
Though it was sort of fun to find this. Off to see what else I turn up.