Bigger than Elvis
Technically I could use the Fail icon, but I don’t really feel like it’s a fail. Or, it’s a fail that I actually like. My grand plans to whip out a draft of the WIP by the end of the month still might happen, but they’re going to be subject to line item veto until Anna gets into school. This resolution was firmed up by a dream last night where a subway-like M train arrived to take me to the future of my dreams, but once I got on I realized they’d put Anna on another train and headed her in another direction. I nearly tore the train apart and eventually just blew out the side, racing into the darkness after Anna’s train, not even worried because I knew I’d find it. I didn’t even think twice about the lost M train, except for some simmering fury that they (I don’t know who "they" are. The gods? My life muses?) thought they could take me away from Anna.
That’s been this week, sort of. First this week was insomnia and busy-ness, and then it was recovery and contemplation, and then it was Adventureland, and then it was blowing up the M train. The past few days in particular have been very Anna-centric: school shopping, running errands, playing games on the computer, riding bikes. Lately all it takes is for her to walk into the room and I’m willing to put down whatever I’m working on. Some of this is my own lament over how quickly the summer went by and how few of our plans we got to do, always of course attempting to balance this with the acknowledgment that we did take a megatrip at the beginning. I’m still writing, but not much, and not often. I’m behind in email (again), way behind in blogs, ready to give up on comments, and only aware of current events because of NPR. All this will change with the wind, I’m sure. But this is the breeze right now.
My blog offering, probably the last for the week, is a set of videos which have found their way at me both today; together they freed me from the last of a few mental chains I had wrapped around my cranium and filled me with a sense of peace. The first is a creative talk by Elizabeth Gilbert which many people have aimed at me over the past several months (year?), most recently by which encourages creative people, among other things, to accept the divine when you find it and let it go with grace when it needs to leave. The second is a 3-D rendering of the Ultra Deep View from the Hubble telescope which I found via Towleroad. Watching them both within a half hour of one another, finishing with the image of hundreds of billions of galaxies rushing away from the center of the universe at increasingly rapid speed, I felt somehow exonerated from pretty much everything I ever felt guilty for. So, while that lasted, I wrote a bit, then went out and had a great day with my kid. We’re going to do it again tomorrow at the Iowa State Fair.
Elizabeth Gilbert encourages you to just show up and do your job:
The Hubble reveals a sea of life in a dark patch of sky: