Dear Ms. Ciccone:

I just downloaded your video of "Celebration" from iTunes for free, for which I thank you. But beyond this, I must confess that my reaction is, "What the hell?!"

I mean, that’s a nice start: sexy, exciting, interesting. And then you do the same thing for the entire song. Yes, the boys are very pretty, and thank you again. But . . . seriously? SERIOUSLY? Are you telling me that this is what you, the woman who gave us this and this and this and even this, the latter being admittedly a beautiful freakshow–THIS, is what you give us now? I’ll give you simple is the new black, but there is no THERE there. No build. No . . . nothing! You’re very pretty, and yes, you’re still sexy, but where the hell is your creativity?

I would like to introduce you to my friend Mr. Longback, who can not only teach you a thing or two about videos, he could also edit them for you, as this is his alter ego’s day job. The first one is simple yes, like yours, but I find I can watch it with interest, probably because not only is he funny, he’s also DOING MORE WITH THE BACKGROUND and effects in general.

But honestly, the one you need to see is this one. This is what you should have done, Madonna. And don’t tell me it’s too expensive: Shorty Longback did this for fun on an entertainment budget using friends, and in a brief cameo, my sister-in-law. (She slaps Mr. Longback at 1:30, if you want to see her.  But don’t worry; they’re now engaged.)

Come on, Madonna. You’re better than this.

One Comment on “Dear Ms. Ciccone:

  1. My other huge problem with the Madonna video is that it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to focus on any one thing as nothing stays on the screen for longer than 2 seconds. That is HORRIBLY distracting.
    I think that her heart is not in video making any longer – I fear music making may be next.

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