You were spared, but just barely, a ranty, teeth-gritted post about pain in the middle of the night, so be grateful the Ativan kept me stoned enough that leaving bed seemed unwise. I was fully dosed with everything in my kit and some others that just seemed like maybe they’d help, and even so it was 2AM and I could not sleep because my arm and shoulder were throbbing. At some point between the drugs, my weariness, and the pain I entered a sort of acid state, which sounds fun, but really, it still hurt. Had a few dream figures sit down with me and talk about the pain, which was different. It was sort of like a lucid dream, except being lucid just meant OH GOD THIS HURTS, so the whole dream was about where to put the pain. Answer: a swimming pool. Whatever, all I know is eventually I did sleep and that I’m less hung-over this morning with every passing minute.
Arm still hurts, but there’s nothing to be done about that until chiro tomorrow at 11, though I’ll make an effort with some weights today. Don’t pity me overmuch: I’ve been bad about my fitness regimen, which isn’t about tone and nicety with me but is in fact the way to not have what is happening to me happen. Though, in my defense, sometimes this happens anyway.
As I mentioned, Thursday I went down and videotaped Jeff. He’s posted more videos now: I have a brief visual cameo at 3 minutes on video #4. (That video also features me lifting David’s fig leaf and cussing at Jeff for getting in the way of my art.) Friday I don’t remember much of–I did some technical conferencing with Jeff, worked on the synopsis, and then I have no idea. Yesterday was the One Iowa 3E conference, where I learned how to be a Marriage Ambassador and saw all the One Iowa boys again, which is always good. Then my arm and hip started to try to kill me from the inside out, I came home to enjoy Wizard of Oz and a fire with Anna and Dan, then spent the night trying to fight off my own appendage. Today I have to get back to the gym, and we intend to make a start on painting the garage door. My arm still hurts, but at this point there’s nothing to do but ignore it, because nothing makes it happy. (Yes, it hurts to type. Whatever.)
I had these plans to make October a work month, but I’m starting to realize it needs to be November prep and Month Of Odd Jobs. I still intend to reread TSV and TEMPLE BOY, and yesterday got me thinking of STB again, but mostly I need to paint the bathroom ceiling, help Anna get her wallpaper stripped, do research for November, think about writing a TSV synopsis, and generally just do whatever comes my way. In short, I’m going going to be drafting or really revising much except for what comes my way. Never my favorite part, but such is life. What I really need to do, though, is get back into my exercise regime, because this arm and hip thing cannot go on. If it happens while I’m keeping up with my strength training, that’s different, but this hurts a lot and it’s because I’m trying to get out of doing maintenance.
I also really need to organize my hard drive. So October is MONTH OF SHIT I DON’T WANT TO DO. Fabulous.
Betas for SD should come in this weekend or early this week, though, and then I can send that out (finally finished the synopsis, I think). I also still have much to learn about poker before November.
I have this idea that I want to post about my prewriting for NaNoWriMo, about some techniques I use, my philosophies, and my screw-ups. I wanted to start it now, but right now my arm is killing (because this really has aggravated it), so it’s time to get my kit on and go do weights. So maybe soon.
The one thing I like about this go-round with the pain is that it was a real killer and I didn’t melt down. To me this means I’ve properly been dealing with the weird emotional shit this sort of thing usually dredges up. This round I didn’t get upset about any and everything that I haven’t dealt with in the past month; this time I just tried to find a way to manage the pain, and when it was clear I couldn’t, made calm decisions about how to best live with it until it can be take care of. Calm. Rational. Together, even with serious pain shooting down my arm. Dude, I win.