If you see my brain, please send it home on the bus.

I’m writing this post knowing full well I should be doing something else, but I’ve reached the cranium deterioration point where I don’t know what the hell I should be doing, so I suppose blogging is as good as anything else. I think I blame my to do list. It’s got two columns, one of huge umbrella things that need to be done, and another of more local, urgent things I need to do. I’m not getting much of either column done, and it’s making me batshit crazy. Last night Anna stood beside my desk and read the list.

Anna: Why are there stars by some of them?
Me: Because those are the things I really, really need to do.
Anna: But they’re all still up there. 
Me: Yeah. I didn’t get them done.
Anna: There are a lot of stars, Mom.
Me: Yes.
(Another pause.)
Anna: What’s this "1hr Anna’s room"?
Me: We’re supposed to be sorting out your room.
Anna: We didn’t do that.
Me: Nope.
Anna: There’s no star on that one, though. But there is on "Blair meds."
Me: Yes. Because his medicine is almost gone.
Anna: But you didn’t order it, because it’s still on the list?
Me: Yes.

I am the Very Modal Model of a Major Modern Fail.

It’s all my own fault, too, because yesterday I dared to browse for an elliptical machine, which I very much need, and to have lunch with Dan and with Jan and Sarah. It was supposed to be Sarah and I, but then I invited Dan, and once it became a Spouse Lunch, Sarah invited Jan, and it was great, because it was just the four of us, no kids, just a nice adult meal at a deli. And I bought yarn to finish my hat, too. In short, I took a bit of time out of the schedule. But I thought I could do it no problem, because even though we got back at a little after 1PM, I still had a few hours  before I went to pick up Anna. So I sat down and started working. I had a good rhythm going when the phone rang at 2:40. The caller ID said it was Anna’s school, and I braced, wondering what had happened.

The secretary says, "Hi, I’m calling to let you know that Anna is here in the office, and she needs a ride."

I look around in confusion, then looking at time on the clock again. Then I remember, finally, what day of the week it is. It’s Wednesday. Her school has early out on Wednesday. I’ve just left her standing there for forty minutes, waiting.

I apologize profusely and tell her to tell Anna I am coming right away and to stay right there. I rush to school, park in front of the building, and go inside.

The secretary is gone. Anna is not there.

I hunt down some people, who help me look, but no one has seen her. I go outside, thinking maybe she is waiting on the other side of the building where I usually pick her up, but I don’t see her. I call to her, but no one answers. I go back and look for her again, thinking she’d gone to the bathroom while I was looking. She’s not there.

It’s now past three. 

Now I’m panicking, and the music teacher takes me under his wing. We hunt a bit, but we also call her best friend who lives down the street and see if maybe she went home with her for some odd reason. No.

"But we can see Anna from here. She’s waiting on a snow hill by _____ St."

This is where I had gone and shouted for Anna and gotten no answer.

I get in the car and drive around to that side of the building, and yes, there is Anna, far enough down so that she hadn’t heard me call from the playground. She is crying quietly, looking like she is scared to death. She was waiting in the usual spot, because to her that made the most sense. She hadn’t heard the secretary say to wait at the office. 

We hug, we both cry a little, and then we went for chocolate, because THAT is what you do.

But that ate an hour, and then the chocolate and shopping ate another one, and then we had only one hour left before we were supposed to have dinner with Dan. He’d emailed to ask me to bring coffee, but when I looked up from working it was the time we should have been walking into the door to meet him, so we tore off in a hurry again, no coffee in hand. By the time we got back, my brain was a mess. On twitter I tweeted simply, "brains…." and actually got some interesting responses. Somehow my zombie tweet got me an interview with Accessline Iowa.

So I guess the moral of the story is this: remember what day of the week it is, idiot, and social media works, but only with zombies in.

Now I am going to refill my coffee and close down the damn internet and work on my list. Starting with the things with stars beside them so my daughter doesn’t flip me more shit tonight.

2 Comments on “If you see my brain, please send it home on the bus.

  1. I’ve got you beat. I got this call one morning:
    School: Hi, I’ve got B here in the office.
    Me: OMG What’s wrong?
    School: Nothing. Except that you put him on the bus this morning for kindergarten.
    Me: Your point?
    School: It’s a half-day of school, so there’s no kindergarten. Didn’t you get the fifteen notes we sent home?
    Me: Um. Yes?
    So the bus drove right by the kindergarten building on campus and up to the main school. My poor kid got off, wandered around a bit, then found his way to the office.
    An hour later in the car:
    Me: *crying tears of motherfail*
    Son: You’re silly.
    Me: *cries harder*

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