Hugs from Ewan
I have less than 70 pages of the Double Blind copy edit to go, but I’m working myself into a tizzy because I’m more worried than ever about stepping on it. If only so many people didn’t like Special Delivery, maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But now there’s just so many ways to disappoint. Driving myself batshit with the possibilities, in fact. Logic dictates that doing well on the copy edit will help alleviate this, but the problem is that I always get to this point where I honestly can’t tell if a story works or not. In fact, usually on the stories people like the best I stand there thinking, "Oh God, this really sucks. Or it’s brilliant. But probably it sucks."
I try to tell myself that every time I am convinced I have finally fucked it up beyond recognition, it’s a story people orgasm over. It’s not working, but I’ll just keep telling that to myself.
In the meantime, I’ll just ask Ewan to hold me.