Mia is in for surgery this AM
Dropped my baby off at 7:30 at the vet. Found out I’ve just been scuttling my fear for two weeks, because I cried all the way there and all the way home. Slept for garbage last night, partly because of this, partly because of pain. As a result, I am worthless in ten directions this morning. I’m not sure why it works out that when you’re overtired all you can see is gloom, but that’s the way it works out.
Will go be a good Virgo and work on projects with deadlines until hydrotherapy this morning. Then it’s lunch with our friends Jan and Sarah as they try to find a site they like to cater their wedding. Oh, and Mount Laundry.
It hit me, too, as we drove Mia to the vet that a good half of what I’m feeling is the sense of time Mia has marked. She’s been with me so long. And a lot of my upset at sending her to surgery is a distaste for any mark at all that this phase may be ending. I’ve been telling myself for years I’ve been lucky to have her as long as I have, but that doesn’t in any way stop me wanting to dig in my heels at the thought of having her not come home. Part of this is also that the last time I took a cat in for anesthesia, just for dental, he nearly died.
Of course, that cat is right behind me, battling the curtain for a sunbeam, so there’s some comfort, I suppose. I’m also being regularly reassured by my daughter that her unicorn and wooly bear caterpillar spirit guardians (love my kid) said she’d be okay. Which I think there are very good odds at the end of the week I"ll be nuzzling her as I fall asleep just like usual.
Anyway. Thoughts, prayers, white light welcomed. Will update later today.