Yes, darling. That red all over your hands IS blood.

Dearest  , please skip right on over this. It’s one of those things that will just make you crazy and depressed.

Maggie Gallagher today in the New York Post, in honor of Spirit Day, writes a carefully thought out dashes off a snarky schoolgirl response to the very idea that anything she says or does could cause young gay teens to commit suicide. After all, it’s all their fault, really.

Gay students are also more than twice as likely to report having had sexual intercourse before age 13 — that is, to be sexually abused as children. They are three times as likely to report being the victims of dating violence, and nearly four times as likely to report forced sexual contact. A majority of LGBT teens in Massachusetts reported using illegal drugs in the last month. (Perhaps most oddly, gay teens are also three times as likely as non-gay teens to report either becoming pregnant or getting someone else pregnant.)

Forced sex, childhood sexual abuse, dating violence, early unwed pregnancy, substance abuse — could these be a more important factor in the increased suicide risk of LGBT high schoolers than anything people like me ever said?


Ms. Gallagher, this is part of being bullied. These things do not happen, as you seem to imply, because being gay is wrong. These things happen more to LGBTQ teens because society believes that gay is so wrong that it must be answered with violence.  While I understand that turning the fate of the victim into fault is your organization’s favorite tool, as one who has heard the many harrowing and sometimes brutal tales of LGBTQ teens being bullied, including by being sexually assaulted, abused, and led into substance abuse because of their inability to handle what their peers have dealt them, I take great offense to your casual and frankly grossly uneducated misinformation.

And yes. Your love of traipsing up and down the country and insisting that LGBTQ persons are unnatural and wrong does in fact put blood on your hands. It reinforces bullies into believing that they aren’t bullying at all, so long as it’s one of the horrible, dirty gays they’re beating, or insulting, or laughing at. By putting such a large focus on how very wrong gay marriage is because gay is so wrong, you, as it happens, say that "gay is wrong." Which means you say that to every gay teen who hears you or sees your parade of busses go by or reads your titters on twitter or your blather in national newspapers.

And it says it too to anyone who believes, like you, that the gay is wrong and that something should be done about it. Perhaps starting at the root of the source.

Finally, just for the record, you look fucking ridiculous when you whine about being the vicitm because people tell you that you’re wrong and that you’re hurting other people with your campaign. Unlike the LGBTQ teens, you chose this public forum, and you chose to drive your bus into places you weren’t welcome. Usually all an LGBTQ student wants to do is get to class without having their head slammed into a locker or being called a faggot by the entire football team. And if you can’t see the difference between the two scenarios, if you truly cannot see that you kill several children every time you open your mouth—well, I hope you enjoy your next incarnation as a cockroach.

28 Comments on “Yes, darling. That red all over your hands IS blood.

  1. You know, you are exceptionally eloquent and articulate when you write about these topics (well, all the time, but I notice it here in particular, because I read so much in this subject area); you express so exceptionally clearly and effectively ideas and stories that people need to hear, and your posts deserve to have a much wider audience.
    I do fairly intensive volunteer work for GLAAD and spent last weekend at a “conference” of sorts for others like me; we spent a lot of time talking about how significantly words – what people read and see and hear in the media – shape perceptions (which is what GLAAD is all about – the media, both its positive use to help achieve understanding and acceptance and “watchdogging” against its negative use). You’ve hit spot on why the hateful Ms. Gallagher is so misguided in her attempts to exonerate herself – because her words *do* have power (and seriously, if she didn’t believe that, why would she and the rest of her Anti-Gay Industry be spouting them all the time? she can’t have it both ways…).
    But on the other side of the coin, your words, though they might reach a smaller audience, have power too. What we need are more and more voices like yours, in every sort of forum, telling the truth, telling the stories that everyone out there needs to hear. So please, keep sharing with us; I don’t always comment, but I’m always “listening,” always hearing you, always resonating with what you say, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

    • Thank you very much for your compliments. Though I feel a bit bad because I deliberately let snark and anger out in this one, and I try hard not to. (I had the GLAAD media training!) Sometimes you just can’t stop the slap that wants to come out of your hand.

      • GLAAD media training is fantastic, isn’t it?! I did it for the first time here in DC during National Equality Weekend last year, but since then I’ve done lots of other work with GLAAD; I think they’re a fabulous organization, and I’ve actually become the co-chair of their chapter here (just for perspective, I, like you, am a married (to a man) woman who feels very fiercely and passionately about these issues).
        I don’t think you should feel bad. I think that expressing anger is sometimes the appropriate – even the only adequate – response, especially when it’s done the right way: your “slaps” and “snark” never come across as irrational or hysterical diatribes, but rather as impassioned, articulate, pointed – and very appropriately barbed.
        So again, keep it up! 🙂

        • Well, thank you for the vote of confidence. 🙂 Yes, GLAAD media training is awesome. They’ve trained me out of and into some phrases.

        • Well, thank you for the vote of confidence. 🙂 Yes, GLAAD media training is awesome. They’ve trained me out of and into some phrases.

      • GLAAD media training is fantastic, isn’t it?! I did it for the first time here in DC during National Equality Weekend last year, but since then I’ve done lots of other work with GLAAD; I think they’re a fabulous organization, and I’ve actually become the co-chair of their chapter here (just for perspective, I, like you, am a married (to a man) woman who feels very fiercely and passionately about these issues).
        I don’t think you should feel bad. I think that expressing anger is sometimes the appropriate – even the only adequate – response, especially when it’s done the right way: your “slaps” and “snark” never come across as irrational or hysterical diatribes, but rather as impassioned, articulate, pointed – and very appropriately barbed.
        So again, keep it up! 🙂

    • Thank you very much for your compliments. Though I feel a bit bad because I deliberately let snark and anger out in this one, and I try hard not to. (I had the GLAAD media training!) Sometimes you just can’t stop the slap that wants to come out of your hand.

  2. You know, you are exceptionally eloquent and articulate when you write about these topics (well, all the time, but I notice it here in particular, because I read so much in this subject area); you express so exceptionally clearly and effectively ideas and stories that people need to hear, and your posts deserve to have a much wider audience.
    I do fairly intensive volunteer work for GLAAD and spent last weekend at a “conference” of sorts for others like me; we spent a lot of time talking about how significantly words – what people read and see and hear in the media – shape perceptions (which is what GLAAD is all about – the media, both its positive use to help achieve understanding and acceptance and “watchdogging” against its negative use). You’ve hit spot on why the hateful Ms. Gallagher is so misguided in her attempts to exonerate herself – because her words *do* have power (and seriously, if she didn’t believe that, why would she and the rest of her Anti-Gay Industry be spouting them all the time? she can’t have it both ways…).
    But on the other side of the coin, your words, though they might reach a smaller audience, have power too. What we need are more and more voices like yours, in every sort of forum, telling the truth, telling the stories that everyone out there needs to hear. So please, keep sharing with us; I don’t always comment, but I’m always “listening,” always hearing you, always resonating with what you say, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

  3. Thank goodness there are people like you who can be articulate after reading something like that, people who can throw logic and decency in her face, because she’s obviously not so familiar with it. I, on the other hand, tend to sputter. I get so angry that I just seem to forget English. Good for you, and for the other people leaving comments, taking her to task.

    • It helps that she’s attacking and demeaning people I love. I have difficulty defending myself, but mess with people I love, and as the Wee Free Men say, you’re gonna get such a kickin’ and a face full o’ heid.

    • It helps that she’s attacking and demeaning people I love. I have difficulty defending myself, but mess with people I love, and as the Wee Free Men say, you’re gonna get such a kickin’ and a face full o’ heid.

  4. Thank goodness there are people like you who can be articulate after reading something like that, people who can throw logic and decency in her face, because she’s obviously not so familiar with it. I, on the other hand, tend to sputter. I get so angry that I just seem to forget English. Good for you, and for the other people leaving comments, taking her to task.

  5. What utter, mind-blowing ignorance. Words fail me.
    Having worked with/known so many substance “abusers” over the years, I can honestly say that everyone I have encountered with problematic drug use was self-medicating to help them deal with either physical or mental trauma. This Gallagher woman is seriously confusing symptoms and causes. What a cretin.

  6. What utter, mind-blowing ignorance. Words fail me.
    Having worked with/known so many substance “abusers” over the years, I can honestly say that everyone I have encountered with problematic drug use was self-medicating to help them deal with either physical or mental trauma. This Gallagher woman is seriously confusing symptoms and causes. What a cretin.

  7. This woman should never, ever be allowed to put pen to paper again, let alone for any newspaper. I don’t even have words to express exactly how disgusted I am.
    I am also curious to know how LGBT high schoolers could suffer from lots of “early unwed pregnancies”. You know. With them being gay and everything.

    • I am also curious to know how LGBT high schoolers could suffer from lots of “early unwed pregnancies”. You know. With them being gay and everything.
      Careful. Use logic on her, and she’ll squirm and pout and call you a hateful bigot, because she won’t know how else to answer.

    • I am also curious to know how LGBT high schoolers could suffer from lots of “early unwed pregnancies”. You know. With them being gay and everything.
      Careful. Use logic on her, and she’ll squirm and pout and call you a hateful bigot, because she won’t know how else to answer.

  8. This woman should never, ever be allowed to put pen to paper again, let alone for any newspaper. I don’t even have words to express exactly how disgusted I am.
    I am also curious to know how LGBT high schoolers could suffer from lots of “early unwed pregnancies”. You know. With them being gay and everything.

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