Cat Tuesday: Cat-tastrophe & Super-Husband Edition
Yesterday I sent the following email to Dan.
This is how it happened.
1. Blair climbed onto the desk, as usual, and I petted him. He bit me.
2. I withdrew my hand and spilled my coffee cup all over the desk, keyboard, and mouse.
3. I cleaned everything up and checked the keyboard and mouse. Keyboard okay. Mouse dead.
4. Tried several ways to get mouse to work. Mouse still dead.
5. Am very frustrated. Try to make mouse from wacom tablet work. Get more frustrated.
6. Go look to see if I could use your old mouse since it doesn’t have to go as far on my desk. Realize you’re using it.
7. Go to Best Buy to buy new mouse.
8. Decide to try out Magic Trackpad. Buy it.
9. Get Magic Trackpad home. Doesn’t work.
10. Download new software. Software says I need a different version of the OS.
11. After investigation realize this means I need Snow Leopard.
12. Knowing SL isn’t that much, I go look for it online. Find out must use hard copy disks. Cannot download update.
13. Go back to Best Buy. They only have family pack, which is $50 instead of $30.
14. Consider crying.
15. Buy SL and decide I will just take my licks because at this point I’m kind of fucked up down and sideways. Also, everything lately has said I need SL and I haven’t had it, so wtfe.
16. Install SL. Takes an hour.
17. Discover I need ANOTHER update, this one a download. Begin download. Says it will take five hours.
18. Rest head against wall in defeat as no writing or work of any kind has been accomplished and now I must get Anna.
19. Try to switch laundry with jodphurs to dryer before I go, but it’s not ready. Anna is likely waiting. Decide to do it when I get back from chiro.
20. Chiro takes for bloody ever because they have her fill out forms and do a re-exam because of the fall. She’s also really effed up, so there’s a lot of adjusting. Leave for home at 4:20.
21. Toss jodphurs in dryer on high timed and hope for the best. Watch download awhile and realize it screws up whenever the computer goes to screensaver. Do not think to turn off screensaver.
22. Jodphurs not dry, but it’s 5pm. Prod Anna out door and drive back roads as fast as possible. Arrive fifteen minutes late.
23. Fall unconscious during Anna’s lesson.
24. Come home. Download still going.
The sad part is that this was just part one of Heidi’s Very Bad Day Because Blair Bit Her. Not only did that download fail after all that time, but when I retried and took MORE time, it failed then as well. By this time Dan was home, and I warned him that if it screwed up one more time, I was going to sob.
He said, "If it does, I’ll take your computer down tomorrow and get it fixed so you can work."
At first I thought maybe he was just saying that to be reassuring, but when it failed yet again, he really did just start planning on taking my iMac to Des Moines for me. Which, sorry, for this he gets to take over Cat Tuesday. Because here’s the thing: not only is this a forty-five minute trek one way, this is his only day off after a rather long stretch of days on. The thing about pharmacists is that yes, they get some nice salaries, but hospital pharmacists in particular really, really earn them. The thing is, sick people tend not to care much about overnights, weekends, and holidays, and hospitals tend never to close. And very often his job entails things like stopping someone from getting a fatal dose of a medication while at the same time entering a zillion orders, tracking down people in different departments for confirmation and answering the phone. Very frequently he comes home so zombified he goes straight to the couch or the spare bed in his office before he’s able to function. So the idea that he was going to not sleep in and sacrifice most of his one day off just to run my computer to the Genius Bar—well, let’s just say that his already high cool points made themselves a new ceiling.
And so the story ends with me on my fully updated iMac with functional Magic Trackpad, which I absolutely and completely adore. And my husband whom I also absolutely and completely adore.
Thanks honey. Love you, gray baby. –H