More Blog Hop and Stuff
I vacillate between freaking out about food to freaking about about being at Romantic Times. Usually the two are intertwined, wondering how I will eat while I’m at the conference. Occasionally I shake this up by worrying about the fact that I have a release out in a few weeks and then nothing officially in the hopper. I can’t really bring myself to worry about the panel I’m doing at RT because that’s like teaching, and pfft. But food? Being at RT in general? Writing? Oh yeah. Panic, we has it.
Food is easier and more immediate, so I freak about that the most. I still feel like I’m completely relearning everything I’ve ever known about eating, and the damnedest thing was I did this already this past year, twice. First I cut out meat and then dairy, and now I’m pretty much with both of those but adding refined flour and sugar, and I hate to say it, maybe gluten. LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW LITTLE FOOD IS LEFT WHEN YOU’RE FINISHED WITH THIS. Okay, actually there’s a lot, but you have to make it at home, because nobody will make it outside of your house. In fact, I even have trouble at my local vegan-friendly co-op. Sugar. Sugar the bastard of life.
What kills me now as I live without sugar is how much I’ve lived with sugar all my life. I have always put sugar on everything. I don’t think a day of my life went by until a month ago that I didn’t have both white flour and sugar both. I’ve been detoxing like crazy the past week, and I keep thinking I should have written Wes’s opium-fighting scenes now instead of last year, because holy hell. It’s like shedding all your blood. I’ll get a cold and then I’ll have a weird ten-year-old injury flare up, and then all of a sudden I feel like I’m fifteen, I have so much energy. I feel like I’ve been living my life on cocaine and my body is both happy and confused to be off of it thirty-eight years later.
Bringing my usual zeal to this food gig, I’ve been trying to encourage the detoxing, getting advice from the lady who haunts the vitamin aisle at Wheatsfield, and now I’m drinking holy basil tea and also raw apple cider vinegar. I love the tea, though it puts me on my ass when I have shit I need to work through. It gives me energy and focus, until it decides I need to nap, and then goodnight, it’s bedtime. The vinegar she advised me to take like a shot, but you know, I’m twisted, and I really dig it. I put it in eight ounces of water and drink it while I make dinner. I’m not kidding. There’s something in it that makes my body go nuts with excitement, because I look forward to that glass of vinegar. In fact I missed it yesterday and it’s upsetting me a bit.
I think part of what has me freaked about RT and eating there is that “making food” for me has now become this four ring circus and major Hollywood production. Dan is always duly amazed, both at the yumminess of dinner and at the phenomenal mess I made of the kitchen to create it. I’m not sure how doing this in a hotel room for a week with no kitchen is going to fly. All I can say is thank god Whole Foods is a few miles away and I have a car.
Anyway. This is me. Sorry the blog posts have been food and me carrying on about food with occasional tidbits about how I’m writing but don’t have any new contracts. Maybe light a candle or something or make a small animal sacrifice?
Not a cute one though, please.