Blatantly Bribing You to Do My Work for Me (#DABWAHA time again)

Author-GameOn-Nominee2013It’s DABWAHA time again, which, if you’re all, “what the fuck?” go read it here. Actually, if you want to play this game, save that link. You’ll need it.

A Private Gentleman is a finalist. It made it through round one,with no help from me because Ms. Sexton was here, and then my body went to shit again (more on that in a minute), and all of a sudden I was looking at my twitter and seeing my editor doing my pimping for me. Fail, Heidi. Fail.

PrivateGentleman-A-72smThe book made it to round two, so now I am coming in late to do my part. The idea of this game is trash-talking and vote whoring. So what this means is whenever my round of voting happens, sometime on Sunday either before noon or after noon, I need to get people to go vote. Round two will be tough, because if I read the tourney sheet correctly, I’ll be up against Stars & Stripes by Abigail Roux,and every time I turn around half of twitter is tweeting about those books anyway. So this could all be nice and short. I don’t have that kind of posse, and frankly one would exhaust me utterly and you’d need to be happy with whatever books you had now, because I couldn’t fathom writing again. This means I’m going to be a horrible vote whorer.

To compensate, I have come up with a cunning plan.

There are five rounds, counting the championship. I’ve already cleared the first round, so now it’s just two through five and then the championship. I think the odds of my making even the final four are almost impossible, let alone the elite eight, but what the heck, let’s live for a dream. To get anywhere at all, I’m going to have to convince people to go vote for this book and tell all their friends to do it too. Seeing it win likely isn’t going to do a lot for you, so I will provide the following to up the ante. Here are my ideas for bribing you to do that.

If A Private Gentleman makes it to the third round: I will share a steamy scene from Better Than Love here on my blog.

If A Private Gentleman makes it to the fourth round: I will host a poll to let you pick which two of my characters (any book, and they can cross-pollinate) you want to see together in a scene, and I’ll let you vote on whether it’s steamy, silly, or a surprise. I’d have this written by May 1.

If A Private Gentleman makes it to the fifth round: I will write the short story/novella of Sam & Mitch’s wedding (complete with Randy) by June 1

If A Private Gentleman makes it to the final round: I will write the short story/novella of Randy and Ethan’s wedding by August 1

This means if somehow APG makes it all the way to the championship round, I’ll be writing three free shorts. It’s theoretical I might write them all someday anyway, but if you go whore on my behalf, I will put them next on my list, I’ll stick to the above deadlines, and yes, they’ll be free.

So if seeing any of those gets you all excited, start planning your whoring tactics. You can vote with as many IP addresses you can muster, so the phone the tablet, the laptop, the PC–they all count, and so do those of all your friends. Anybody can vote. You can make your partner vote from work (and from their phone, their tablet, etc.). You can make your mom vote. There’s not even anything dirty on the site, so your kid could vote, but unless they’re adults, they’re probably using your computer anyway.

It is, by the way, totally okay if you don’t want to vote whore, or even vote at all. If you love Stars and Stripes, by all means, go join the throngs there. But this is meant to be a game, meant to be a wheedling, trash-talking festival of fun, so if you want the prizes I offered above? Get your whore on. Because I will, with the internet as my witness, do all the above as promised with each round I clear.

In the meantime, while you go do my work for me (but for a great benefit!), I’m going to finish Better Than Love by April 1 and unfortunately dive hard back into a physical therapy regimen. Because yeah, my body it turns out, is still my body.

Good luck to all the #dabwaha finalists, and good luck vote-getters! Have fun.

(You can also fill in a second chance bracket–maybe. You might have had to fill in the first round already to do that, which I didn’t tell you about in time because I’m a big fail. Sorry.)

3 Comments on “Blatantly Bribing You to Do My Work for Me (#DABWAHA time again)

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