Merry Christmas, happy holidays, blessed Festivus—however you’d like to slice it, may it be good. I’m about to go dark everywhere except for the occasional posting of cats on Twitter and/or Instagram. Lots of family, lots of presents, lots of cats (though that last bit is normal).
December 24 at 7AM, a newsletter will go out. If you aren’t currently subscribed, this would be a good time to fix that. Something will happen in tomorrow’s newsletter that will only happen there. It’s possible somebody will forward you the newsletter or link it, but it will be in their favor to not add people to the pool, so they might stay quiet. If you subscribe, you will want to make sure you open it and follow the link inside. Peek into your spam folder/promotions tab too, if it’s not apparent.
I leave you on this not-quite Christmas Eve with a brief message from the character Twitter voted for in a weird mid-day five minute window. There was sort of a tie between Sam and Randy, and they’re pointing out dialogs are more interesting than monologs anyway.
See you in 2015.
Randy and Sam Wish You a Merry Christmas
Sam: We have the blog! Except…I’m not sure what to do with the blog. What is it rated?
Randy: She’s posted a fisting scene on it, so anything goes. *waggles eyebrows at Sam*
Sam: *swats Randy* No, because Mitch isn’t here.
Randy: I’d take video for him, but whatever. *plops on couch, puts up feet* It’s not supposed to be a long post. We show up, flash our asses a bit, be merry, etc.
Sam: It’s too bad they can’t come eat your cookies. You make great cookies. And the holiday party last weekend was amazing.
Randy: Well, Heidi talked about making the 2016 Christmas story about us. If she’s not too absorbed in those Minnesota brats. Though take note they asked for us on Twitter. Kelly got one vote, and Walter didn’t get any.
Sam: Yes, but Walter is mostly you with money and better hair.
Sam: *pats Randy’s hand* Why don’t we tell everyone what we got people for Christmas? Or wait, no, they might read this. How about we talk about what our family celebration will be like?
Randy: We’ll watch the Christmas lights. Later, we’ll welcome some friends to help us sing carols. And we’ll finish up by reading “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.” Then Steve will beat Chenco with a wire hanger.
Sam: Stop. This is not Christmas with the Crawfords. Come on. Our Christmas is nice. We do go look at lights, and we have soup for dinner and watch cheesy movies, and you make a great dinner on Christmas Day.
Randy: So you’re telling me you don’t want a new spanking bench for Christmas?
Sam: Quit pretending you aren’t the biggest sap at the holidays. They’ve read The Twelve Days of Randy. They already know.
Randy: *sighs* Fine. Yes, I’m a big sap, and we probably will have vanilla, goopy sex on the holiday. Happy?
Sam: *snuggling in* Yep. But she really does owe us a story before December 2016.
Randy: *puts arm around Sam* True that.
I’m actually posting this post from my phone.
This blows my mind on so many levels. When I wrote about Sam Keller and his iPhone, I didn’t even have a text plan, and I didn’t even dream of data. I graduated to a Palm Pre a few years ago, and it did rock, especially by comparison to what I’d had. But the apps left a lot to be desired. Plus, I still wanted an iPhone. Not just because they looked cool but because I’m a big Mac head and I wanted full functionality across my devices. Add the death of my iPod six months ago, and I was getting desperate.
Thanks to generosity by my father-in-law and my father, Dan and I both upgraded to iPhone 4S tonight and at mega hard drive space. We still need cases and chargers and we have to tweak our car stereo. But we have iPhones.
I’m blogging from my FREAKING PHONE. Thanks, Dad and Tom. This is the best present yet.